Rob Field, CSW Director
We’re in the thick of it now, aren’t we? This is the time of year when “family” is engaged or at least invoked. Will you be with your family over the holidays? we are asked, and might ask others.
Meanwhile, the word family can provoke a variety of emotional responses: Can’t wait! or Just grin and bear it, or If only…, or possibly, Oh God, please help!
This time of year reminds me that family can bless as well as bruise. In most families, we’re invited to navigate some combination of the two. The family that typically nurtures and supports its members can end up doing the opposite. The reverse is also true: in the most dysfunctional of families, unconditional love can break through the hurt to surprise us and enliven our spirits.
The enduring religions of the world uphold the value of families. But they stop short of letting us treat our family as a false god. The wisest religious teachings counter-balance the potentially neglectful or abusive nature of families with concepts such as self protection and healthy love. In my own Christian tradition, we recall that one of the 10 best ways to live — received from our Jewish inheritance — is to honor our parents. Yet Jesus comes along and redefines “family” as anyone who follows the divine will. Members of his family show up one day and, when told of their presence, he replies, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it” (Luke 8:19-21, etc.).
Whether or not our own families bless us, they can serve as a reminder that a deep spiritual life is a resource we bring to every relationship. Spiritual practices help us engage our biological as well as our “chosen” families, and guide us to a place of inner spaciousness that’s good for the soul.
May it be so, my friends, for all of you, as one year draws to a close and we look forward to 2026.
photo via Unsplash